There's a fine line between pleasure and pain;

It's funny that after so long, I finally find happiness.. or what I think happiness is to be - and even still, my heart aches.. and it hurts good - as if it's being constantly ripped out of my chest over and over. Is love only meant to be all about happiness? Is it still love if it hurts like this? ..the thought of losing him is what hurts the most. I can't, I can't go through a day without feeling hurt.. because all I can think of, is him leaving me.. for someone else. I don't know what this is anymore.. I thought I was in love, but if it were true then why am I always feeling so beaten down? I feel as if I've put my heart on the line.. only to let it be broken by the one I love - without him even noticing it. Am I making it all up in my head? I don't know.

This is all one big mind fuck!